


Wasurena Sou

by CelianAdellanie



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 19:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14195718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelianAdellanie/pseuds/CelianAdellanie
Summary: Inspired by the traditional blue konpeito candy comes a series from Kozue's perspective. Focuses mainly on her relationship with Miki and her struggle with her love for him as his twin. Heavy doses of symbolism and drama included, and advised background music is the piece "Pessimism". This is a re-edit of my original fic from FFNet in honor of Utena's 20th Birthday!





	Wasurena Sou

My brother laughed, and the sunlight dappling through tree branches made his blue locks shimmer. His delicate, beautiful fingers danced on the piano, playing his favorite song. Our song, “Hikari Sasu Niwa”. Even as joy radiated off of him, I was jealous of the piano he loves so much. Some things may never change.

“Come on, Kozue,” he urged. “Play with me!” Hesitantly, I joined in. My clumsy paws made a mess of the fingering, but his skillful playing still shone. 

"Wonderful!" He smiled the warmest of smiles at me, the one that only emerged when we were playing side by side. The garden was fresh and bright. It was the only calyx worthy of my brother's bloom.

"Hello!" our stepmother called from across the garden. What was She doing there? The day She came into our lives was the last day we saw Father. Ever since then, it had just been her, with her too-bright teeth and irritating, mocking laugh. And when She wasn't there, it was just us. Miki and I. Elementary school was something I'd read of only in books.

"Children?" When we did not stop playing to give her our attention, She rapped on the piano with one manicured hand, balancing a tray of milkshakes in the other.

“Guess what, children?” she asked with a disgusting enthusiasm. “Your wonderful father has arranged for you to play your song at the concert hall next weekend!” She set the tray down lightly. Miki took his with thanks, drinking it carefully and savoring every sip. Normally I would have grabbed mine and downed it in a single gulp, but I could already feel the milk curdling in my stomach. I turned up my nose when She offers it to me. I would not accept anything of Hers.

"Well then, I think we'd best start practicing!" Miki said brightly.

"You are practicing!" She grinned and tousles Miki's perfect hair. "Oh, you children. So peculiar!" She left my milkshake on the piano and took the tray back with her. She strutted through the garden back to the house as if she owned the place. As if she owned the sunlight and the long grass and the wild roses and the music.

"Is something wrong, Kozue?" 

“What if I mess up?” My voice trembled. If I made a mistake, Miki wouldn't want to play piano with me any longer. We wouldn't share our smiles ever again. He was the one who took actual music lessons, the one Father had decided was talented enough to pursue music as an art instead of a diversion.

“It will be alright. I will be there,” Miki assured me. He paused a beat to think. “Look, Kozue. I have a secret." He stood up, taking me by the hand and pulling me to standing as well. He opened the piano seat's top. Nestled next to his collection of sonatas was a small paper bag. Miki reached for the bag and spilled a waterfall of blue and violet konpeito into my hands.

“Candy?” I asked. She wouldn’t ever buy us traditional sugar candy, though I often stared at it longingly on the rare occasion she took us shopping with her. She said it was too expensive, though I knew that's a lie. The Kaorus were and are filthily rich.

“Mmm-hmm. My piano teacher gave them to me to help me memorize music." 

“Promise?” I said, desperate.

“Promise.” 

I put a candy on my tongue. It was sweet. For some reason, I wanted to cry.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What are you singing, Kozue-chan?” She asked at dinner.

“Nothing an adult like you would understand,” I retorted rudely. Miki winced, so I apologized immediately. “I’m sorry. It’s a secret.” She pursed her lips. The words were just something I hummed to myself. Miki wasn't the only composer in the family.

“Well, anyway. Are you two ready for tomorrow?”

“Actually, I feel a little sick,” Miki replied. My stomach dropped.

“Then you need to go to bed soon, Mickey,” I said, hurrying, taking him out of his chair and leading him to the bathroom. “You need to take your bath, then sleep.” I heard her condescending voice remark on my kindness. She was wrong. It was all selfishness. I wanted Miki to love me like I loved him. That was my only reason for everything. For Miki, My everything.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up as if from a long dream, though I couldn't remember what it was about. I squinted through the sunlight coming in through the window, trying to recall it. When I couldn't, I hopped off the bed to wake Miki up. The early bird catches the worm, after all.

Then he coughed suddenly. “Mickey!” I yelled, going over, grabbing his hands. He coughed even more, so I pressed a hand to his red forehead. She burst into the room, her heels clacking menacingly.

“What is all this ruckus? Let go of him, Kozue!” She said, pulling me away. She was merely annoyed. She didn't even care. "What would your father think of this childishness? You don't want to get sick, too!"

“Yes, I do!” I protested, struggling. Where was Father? He would fix this. "Where's Father? Where is he?" She ignored me and called the doctor, who was there almost instantly. Supposedly he was in the neighborhood.

“He is very sick,” the doctor said. “You would do best not to get too near him for the time being, Miss." he told me.

“Don’t worry about me,” Miki said, smiling faintly. “You can play without me.”

“But Mickey!” I screamed as She pulled me out of the door. "You promised! Wasurena Sou!” 

“Come on, Kozue,” She chided. “You need to go to the concert hall.” We were soon off in the long, dark car. I blinked, and I was sitting at the piano in front of a large audience, trembling. I set my fingers on the keys, but nothing came. I reached into my pocket, and ate another piece of candy, but it tasted sickly sweet. I swallowed, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. Why had this happened?

“She’s so inexperienced,” one of the audience members complained loudly. “And where’s her brother?” I stood up and faced the audience, scared. 

“Play!” the audience chanted. “Play!” I shook, then started crying. I ran off stage.

“Kozue!” She shouted, running after me into the garden outside of the concert hall. I hid under a rose bush, crying. The rest of the candy, I crushed into the ground, shards of stubbornly sparkling sugar. My shining things. Shattered. I resolved to no longer play the piano. Miki lied to me. He forgot his promise. Forgot me.

It will have been twenty years now but I don't ever think I will forget the sight of the strange powder I found tucked Her top drawer. Adults. They really do think children are ignorant. Helpless. That was the day I learned that the world would forever try to take Miki away from me. I decided I would hold on as tight as I could.

“To the me of far away”, forget me not. Wasurena Sou.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you are doing well and that you enjoyed this first chapter. Either way, I hope that you will take the time to comment! For now, the content ratings and warnings are low, but they will likely be changed as I post more of the story. Do take care, now! :)


End file.
